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here’s the link to my discipline narrative (the planning, the first draft, the revisions, and the final draft) in case the embedding doesn’t work:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zL-EiV2xcRL3Kj0kMyLgHRLTHZkwUa6Mnko7c0FmB4U/edit
Reflection of Revision Changes:
I made a lot of revisions to my discipline narrative, and I feel more confident in my final draft because of these revisions. The first thing that I did was read through my whole narrative again, and to notice any mistakes regarding grammar and spelling, repetition of ideas, and lengthy sentences. I find that in my writing, I am often a little bit repetitive, so I went through and highlighted the places that I felt that I was overstating the same thing multiple times. Then I had to make a choice about whether I wanted to completely delete the sentences that I wrote, or if I wanted to revise them and say something completely different. The next thing that I did was look at my sentences and see if they felt too long. I went through and broke up some of my longer and wordier sentences into multiple sentences.
The most important revision that I made, in my opinion, was in using more descriptive and sensory language to describe my experiences, rather than just summarizing the whole experience. I admit that this was really hard for me–because it is not usually something that I have to do with critical essays and analytical essays that I write for my other English classes. I tried to think back to the moment I was describing, and thought about what words, sensations, and feelings that I associated with those moments. That was really helpful for me, and I found that I was able to be more descriptive in my writing. I think this is also helpful to the reader, because when I am more descriptive in my writing, the reader probably feels more engaged and more like they can actually imagine what I was feeling and seeing.
